Mollyfa

A Week Apart

2010-08-25T20:40:00.001-04:00

This week we are sans children. They are staying with my parents, and they are busy riding pony carts, and fishing, and playing with the dogs, and shopping and cooking, and eating, and all of the other wonderful things that a grandparent visit ought to entail. This is wonderful... for them, and for us. Ken and I are busy working, and Lord knows that the week they had to hang out at the house by themselves, they were more than a little bored. This allows them to have loads of fun, and allows us not to worry about them.

It is also wonderful on another front. Ken and I have had a weeks worth of date nights. We come home from work and share about our day over a dinner for two and a nice glass of wine, (not too different from when the kids are with us). And then we follow it with a movie or two (a little different then when the kids are with us). Tonight, we replaced the movie with a couple hours of cleaning, but still, just the two of us. It was fun. It reminds me of when we were first married, and yet, it isn't quite the same.

Back in the day, when we would have our chats, it often revolved around what we thought it might be like when we had a house of our own, and children to run around it. What were the names that we could agree on? Who would they look like? Now our conversations are of how we miss them, and what they said to us over the phone. When can we make time to go school shopping for them?

While the two of us used to fill a very small apartment, we can now romp through an entire house, but their are holes here. The little rompers are missed. I think they are enjoying their little vacation from home; and we are enjoying it too (though probably not quite as much) but there is no going back. They are a part of us. Our people. I love that they are out in the world having a grand time; I just can't wait for them to get back.

Kitty Queasiness

2010-07-29T16:14:00.000-04:00

So our poor little Suki cat has been suffering a little, and in true cat nature, she was thoughtful enough to share her misery. It started with her peeing all over the house. This required us to wait until the dark hours of the night to scuffle around like detectives with our black light searching out all of the pee stains (I'm sure the neighbors were wondering what in the world was going on in there), and what we found was nothing short of horrific. She had been peeing EVERYWHERE. There was no rhyme or reason, no special corner, or even cornerS, just... everywhere.

I was sure that this was a dominance thing. Having a few visiting dogs, along with our own lovalbe pup, I thought must have put her over the edge. But after talking to a friend, who suggested it could be a UTI, and cleaning some very dark urine, I thought it might be time for a visit to the vet.

I won't go into the idea of trying to get a urine sample. Suffice it to say, we were unsuccessful, but the vet was able to take care of it, and lo and behold, she indeed had a UTI. We started an antibiotic, but more importantly as it turns out, we gave her a new litter box that was all her own, up in the master bathroom. It seems that she prefers this location, and that seems to have taken care of her marking all over the house.

All seemed to be well, until the puking started. I assumed the medicine that she was taking was upsetting her tummy, so we stopped giving it to her a couple of days early, and today we took her back to the vet. They needed to test the urine again to make sure the infection was taken care of and see what they could do about the vomiting. We have her on some prescription food, and have her locked up in the master suite, so we can see exactly what's going in, and what's coming out. She doesn't seem to mind, since I think that she believes that to be her own personal apartment anyway.

The next step was to take the steam cleaner to the house and clean every carpet. Between the cat and the afore mentioned visiting dogs, we were due for a deep clean. Just as we were vacuuming and moving furniture, ready to go, we realize that our steam cleaner is broken. A part of the brush has broken off, and is stuck. Now our steam cleaner is at the doctors, and our carpets remain disgusting.

I guess it's just a sign that it's time to put my feet up, and wait for another day.

The Last Gasp.

2010-07-06T18:34:00.000-04:00

In one month I will be starting a new job. It's a big girl job. I leave behind 7 years of teaching preschool for an office position working for 7 lawyers. No longer will I be fraternizing with four year olds, I will be consorting with criminals; talking daily to those accused and/or convicted of anything from a speeding ticket, to rape, to capital murders. I'm sure you can understand why I feel that this may be quite a jump.

Now, I have always liked change. One of the things I dread more than anything is too much sameness, and while this is a big change, the fear that day to day could get monotonous is a real one. One thing about 4 year olds, everyday is different. Still, the idea of working with adults again, is appealing. And, more importantly, the money, the impetus for this move, will be a most welcome change.

The hours,of course, will be more. Instead of 9am to 1pm, I will be working everyday from 7:30am till 4:30pm. I really can't complain, for they let me choose these hours so that I could get home only a half hour after my youngest will walk through the door. This new job is a bit farther from my old job, instead of three minutes away, it's a whole 7 minutes away from my front door. No, I really can't complain.

Also, in addition to getting two weeks paid vacation each year, I will also get all of July off every year (a time when the office hires interns for free). If I can take one week around Christmas, another with my kids Spring Break, then this schedule gives me a very close approximation to the academic calendar. All in all, I'm excited about this change.

Still, I find that I am holding onto this last month of a summer break with a very tight grip. I feel like it is my last chance to laze about and do nothing. Whenever anything is asked of me I become highly irritated because I am clearly busy do nothing. I'm trying to do as much nothing as I possibly can. I sense that in my striving to hold onto this last little bit of freedom, that I may miss it. The feeling of the end looming is a hard one to shake.

I know that I will be fine. I know that I may find in this job, growth in myself that I could not find in my old one. I am looking forward to going to shop for grown up clothes, and taking in a grown up paycheck. But for now, it's time to relax, kick back and enjoy. So until the second week of August, don't ask, I'm busy.

Bloody Sunday

2009-05-18T13:42:00.002-04:00

As I have watched my preschool class be enthralled with the all of the little caterpillars that are out and about these days, I was reminded of my own kids adventure with the little guys, so I thought that I would share a couple of old posts.

BLOODY SUNDAY:

My kids have been raising a group of wooly caterpillars. They started out with just one, but when we looked up our little critter online, it said that this particular kind (don't ask me the name, I can't remember) likes to socialize. Well, of course we had to run out and search for more. We'd been feeding and caring for them diligently. The kids really liked to take the little guys for walks outside and watch them crawl all over their clothes. During one such incident my son accidentally stepped on the end of one of them. We thought for sure that he was a goner, but nature, as amazing as ever, healed the wound and he proceeded along with life just fine. Just fine, that is, until yesterday, which has come to be known as bloody Sunday in our house.

We got home from doing our grocery shopping for the week, and we were greeted with a truly distressing sight. Bodies were strewn about the living room, the jar lying seemingly empty on it's side, and our cat Miko guiltily stalking out of view as we opened the door. The jar of caterpillars had been left on the coffee table, and the curiousity had just been too much. Miko had reached in and quickly slayed the poor creatures while trying to get a better look. One little guy survived by hiding under a leaf.

Needless to say, my kids were aghast.

So while trying to watch the beauty of life and transformation into new life, we've instead been witness to the fragility of life and transformation to death. We do still have hope in our one remaining caterpiller. And the kids... well they seem to have recovered, although they still aren't talking to the cat.

Cut to the Chase

2009-04-14T17:41:00.004-04:00

Here is the new puppy. Her name is Gracie, and she is adorable. We love her, and so does our older dog.

Our cats; however, have a different opinion.

She is sure that her cuteness will win them over.

Dog Days: A short story Part 1

2009-03-14T13:28:00.002-04:00

My daughter is crazy about puppies. I’m sure that this is normal. Most young people are naturally attracted to young animals. Yet hers is an obsession that has lasted through the years, much the same way my son obsessed about dinosaurs. Sam spent at least the first 7 years of life growling and clawing at perfect strangers as well as fond friends. My daughter can’t seem to get enough stuffed animals, especially of the canine family. So it is no surprise that from the time that she could speak, she has asked for a puppy of her own. Normally, this would have been an easy sell. I, myself am an animal lover, and have always had pets. The only problem was, that we already owned a Golden Retriever when Emma was born, and one big dog in a small townhouse (special note: the dog came before the move to the small townhouse) seemed quite enough. It was only with fabulous timing, a little canoodling, and great pleas, that we convinced my husband to allow two kittens into the fold, but another dog would be out of the question. And on this subject, I had to agree. Little did I know that when we began looking to move into a bigger house, my husband had promised my puppy crazy daughter, that once we moved, we would get a new puppy. This time it was I who had to put my foot down. I am sure that at least 70 percent of the dirt that comes into my home, is created by the animals. I was not about to double the quantity in my new house. Not to mention the expense added not only by a new house, but another new animal, I wasn’t sure that we could handle it. No.

We moved in late July, and already the pleas began. No. Around Christmas time my lovely husband hinted that he was thinking that a puppy would be a wonderful Christmas memory in the making. No. I was firm on this. Maybe next year, but definitely not now. The cats had just been through a move; we didn’t need a puppy causing them undo stress, not to mention our nine-year old dog didn’t need the aggravation. No. I meant business. This was not going to change anytime soon. Things were just settling down in the new house. NO.

While visiting family over holidays we were introduced to one of the most ridiculously adorable dogs I have ever seen. It was a cross between a teddy bear and a mop with big round eyes and an endearing little smile. It followed every moving target around in a sort of space alien way, half way between bouncing and floating since you couldn’t see it’s paws through all of the fur. She allowed anyone to pick her up like a baby and stroke her belly as she sat perfectly still. She was a doll. She was a Lhasa apso puppy.

I mentioned to my husband, that if we were to get a dog like that, I would consider it. He was having none of it. He doesn’t consider anything less than a foot tall to be a real dog. When I said that it would be nice to have a real lap dog, he scoffed. Well, it didn’t really matter; we didn’t need a dog anyway. Still, it started me thinking about the kind of dogs that we might consider if we were to add another member to our family.

By January, my eye was unconsciously trained to every dog that paraded on the path behind our house. Oh that one’s too small, that one’s too big, that one’s too hairy, but still there were many whom I could see sitting by me quietly on the couch. Of course, picking a breed this time around seemed like a waste of time, because I’d already decided that any new puppy would be from the pound; a puppy who really needed us. But we had plenty of time to ponder, because this just wasn’t happening anytime soon.

In February, Emma began reading “The Puppy Place” books. The series follows a family who fosters puppies and helps find them a new home. It ends each book with a tip for puppy owners. She fell in love with them so much, that she decided to take some of her left over Christmas money and buy the whole series.

“You know, Mom, I would be a great trainer for a puppy.”

“Great,” I told her, “you can try your training on Bailey.”

I will give her credit. She did start paying special attention to the dog of who had been a faithful companion for her entire life. The dog who had had to share toys with her as an infant and who withstood ear pulling and tail pulling and general mauling when she had been a toddler. But with it also came the long sighs, “I wish I had known Bailey as a puppy.”

Before I knew what was happening, I started to look on the Internet to see what kind of puppies were in need of rescuing. Again, I was just looking…for FUTURE reference. ….

One should never look at puppies unless they are prepared to buy. By the beginning of March, I had emailed a couple of rescue agencies about a couple of possibilities that I had seen online. It seems that gone are the days of a box of puppies on a downtown sidewalk with a sign that reads, “Free to a good home”. Now they want paperwork, applications, pre-applications, previous pet records, personal references, and a home visit to be sure that you are indeed not only a suitable pet owner, but also a suitable human being. I felt fairly certain that we could pass the test, and when the agent who was working with a couple of 11 week-old shepherd retriever mixes called, we were ready to set up a meeting. It seemed we were on route to find the newest member of our family

Winthrop, Miracle Boy

2008-11-15T08:32:00.005-05:00

So I met with the Drama people at Sam's school. They were very understanding and willing to listen, but I definitely got the feeling that they were there to change my mind. I will cut to the chase, they did.

First, they listened, which was nice. They said that they totally understood and also assured me that Sam did not get the role because of his own lisp. They really just felt that he shined in this role. Of course, his size was a factor, which is not a surprise, because he's still small. None of this is the reason of course that changed my mind. I didn't really think that his lisp was a deciding factor in giving him the role, but it still wasn't going to help him get over this. The thing that really swayed me was their willingness to change the part. Now, Winthrop is a bit of a miracle child. He starts with his lisp, and after he receives his instrument, the lisp disappears. The song "Gary Indiana" will be sung without the lisp at all. With these changes, I figure we can still work on what we need to, and there will still be a great emphasis on Sam's speech throughout. It may actually help him to feel the difference of the beginning of the show, to the end.

We talked to Sam about it, and he seems genuinely thrilled to be playing this role. So there you have it. We will start on the script, pronto.

Music Mania

2008-11-10T14:30:00.004-05:00

My son Sam has been in speech therapy since he was three years old. His vocabulary and language skills are incredible, but his articulation leaves something to be desired. Basically, it has always seemed that the poor kids tongue is just too big for his mouth; and in fact, that's not far from the truth. For a long time, there was not space enough in the back of his throat for his tongue to sit back where it belonged. Well, years have passed. Many of his articulation struggles have been taken care of but he is still working on his "r"s and "s"s. His mouth has also grown and there is more room than before, but muscle memory is a powerful thing and his tongue still thrusts forward causing quite a lisp.

Being a part of this family, acting in shows is a big part of what we do. Ken and I are often directing, acting in, producing shows, so it is not a big surprise that both kids have been onstage themselves a number of times. It is also no surprise then, that when Sam's school announced that they would be doing "Music Man" this year, Sam was gung ho to start the audition process. He did well in his auditions and made a series of call backs. I was excited for him, and I also told him that this would be a great chance for us to work on some of his speech issues. It is much easier to work from a script when working on enunciation than it is in real life situations. Last week he came home and announced that he was going to be playing Winthrop. For those of you who are not familiar with the Music Man, Winthrop is the little boy who lisps played by a little Ron Howard in the movie. It is a great role and a large role, but there was an obvious problem, one that I'd hoped that his teachers would foresee. The lisp is rather a key story point, so there is really no way around it. Not only would we not be able to work on his speech issues, this may actually work in the wrong direction. Having had to cast kids in productions myself, I do not love the idea of being one of "those" parents who complains about the part that their child received. It is my policy that you get what you get and make the best of it. Yet here I am.

I have emailed his teachers with my concern. His homeroom teacher has already emailed me and in no uncertain terms agrees that this role would be inappropriate for him and thanked me for sending the email. She was very disappointed. We have a meeting set up for later this week and we will see what happens.

ME! ME! ME!

2008-10-23T18:02:00.003-04:00

I have a student this year in my class of four year olds, that is a little different than any other student I have had. It seems that he has a severe case of only child syndrome, but it may be something more. He has a sincere need to be the center of attention. He has gotten much better about not talking back to the teacher ( he caught on pretty quick that that was not going to fly) but he still can't sit next to any other kid without getting into their face, tugging at them, poking them, biting at them. He is not trying to hurt the other kids, he just wants the non stop attention. He is a smart kid. He likes to participate and he always has the right answers, but he cannot focus on anyone but himself, EVER! Separating him from the group for periods of time seems to help. He doesn't like to be ignored, so I am working with that, but as soon as he is allowed to returned and encouraged to make better choices, it starts just where it left off.

Now to be fair, last week was a good week. This week; however, has been a nightmare. And it seems that nothing I do will help. I talked with his mom today because he had actually pulled another students hair with his TEETH. Mom is totally aware, and is working on it. I do not feel like she is a parent who would rather turn a blind eye, but I feel that we are both left scratching our heads as to how to help the situation.

I write this after a long day, and a long week. I will keep you up on how the situation progresses, but if anyone has experience with this, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Pre- dawn and Pre-election

2008-10-19T06:35:00.002-04:00

It's been so long since I've been here that I hardly know what to say. Since the move, and the start of the school year, it seems that there has been a whirlwind of activity, and I haven't taken the time to write about any of it. There is also the election which we are keeping a close eye on. Too close probably. Every day I watch to see what's happening, who has said what, what the polls are saying. I've made up my mind, so why should I still be watching? Mostly because I want to be sure that others are thinking along the same lines, and I won't have to go through the huge disappointment of 4 years ago. Of course watching won't help with this, but still I can't seem to stop.

I think that this is another reason I have been scared away from the blogosphere for a bit. My feelings are passionate, but I was worried that if I wrote about any of it, it would come pouring out in a vomit of hate, and that is not worth anyone reading. I am over the politics of hate and fear. So much so, that when it is flung at me, I just shake my head rather than my fist. I don't want to be angry anymore. The fact is, there are no "others". We are one, and we are both good and evil, strong and weak. We make our choices and we will get through. Of course, by my second cup of coffee, I may feel differently. But for now, in the quietness of the pre-dawn hours, this is where I stand. Or should I say sit, under my comfy blanket and laptop, cradling my warm mug. Have a happy Sunday.

2008-09-26T05:52:00.001-04:00

Below is a post from my friend Simplynutmeg. she says it just right.

blogging for change and a free dyson

Every day I wake up and I want to write about the election.

Every day I want to post you tube videos of Sarah Palin scaring the hell out of me.

Every day I want to give homage to John Stewart or post drafts of my hate mail to Karl Rove.

But I know for sure it’s no longer enough.

I want to do more than add my voice to the millions of Americans crying out for change.

I want to be an agent of that change. I want to make a difference.

Talking about it is no longer enough!

Writing about it is no longer enough!

Leaving it to others is no longer enough!

In 2000, when we elected ‘experience’, my vote wasn’t enough.

In 2004, when we elected ‘experience’, my vote wasn’t enough.

This time I’m not just voting for intelligence.

This time I’m not just voting for integrity.

This time I’m not just voting for bold initiative.

This time I’m working for the campaign. I’m a member of my local volunteer team.

BECAUSE ONE VOTE IS NO LONGER ENOUGH!

We do not have enough volunteers. We need more people to register voters, to persuade, to get out the vote.

It’s actually a lot of fun and I’ve met some amazing people.

Just two hours a week can make a difference.

You can sign up to volunteer here.

You can find your local volunteer coordinator here. Even better, go here.

Or e-mail me at meg[at]simplynutmeg[dot]com and I’ll get you connected with the right person.

Please join me in spreading this No Longer Enough campaign:

Please publish this post or write your own post and link to it on your blog and spread the word to your readers, even if you can’t volunteer. Many of us just need a little push (someone approached me at the grocery store) to get in the game.

Just think; if every Blogger recruited just one volunteer…

Maybe we’re what we’ve been waiting for.

And here’s where I put my money where my mouth is:

If you join in spreading the word, publish this post, or write your own post with a link, sign the Mr. Linky below. If I get 200 links or more before October 10th, I’ll use a random number generator to choose a winner, and I’ll give away one brand new Dyson.

Because my one vote is no longer enough.

Back to School

2008-09-03T06:03:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was the first day of school. I am not one of those mom's who cries at time passing. I am enjoying my time, and I am enjoying watching these kids grow. Not that I don't get a little misty once in awhile at how quickly it all goes, but basically I believe in living in the Now. Yesterday; however, I had a little heart tug as I dropped the kids to their schools.

Sam was his usual outgoing self, and even though he says that he was nervous, you would never know by looking at him. He walked into his classroom with his usual swagger even though it was a new school, and we hadn't received his schedule yet (something that would have been nearly unbearable for me as a kid), he proudly proclaimed that he was "officially a Bobcat" and went on his merry way.

Off to Emma's school. Everything was fine until we got to the building, and suddenly Emma became very nervous. The clinging to the arm began, but there was no whining, and there was only a small hint of tears trying to fight their way into her eyes. She bravely kept them back, and when it was time to say goodbye, she let go of my hands and gave a very nervous "bye mommy", before walking down the hall and to her room. I smiled and waved, and felt my heart sink into my stomach. Not that she was getting older, or that she was moving on, but that she was scared and off to face the world alone. Of course, that's the necessary process, but it is an incredible instinct to want to go and fight all of their battles for them

Of course she came home with a big smile on her face. She cheerfully proclaimed that it was the best first day of school ever. It's amazing what a capable teacher can do. Thank goodness that we do not have to look forward to all of the nonsense of last year. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this teacher, and so far, so good.

Today, both children made it to their buses and seem genuinely happy to be on their way. I too am back to school, so I must be off before I am late to work. I'm looking forward to a stellar year all around.

Three Wishes for the Cat Genie

2008-08-13T08:29:00.003-04:00

I have a new gadget. The Cat Genie. I think that this may be the single most greatest thing ever invented. It is a self cleaning litter box that doesn't even use litter. Instead, it uses these little plastic bio-degradable particles that are washable. And the coolest thing, the waste is flushed down the toilet. No more saving all the kitty poo in plastic bags to sit in a landfill, so this is better for the environment. The only thing that would make this brilliant piece of ingenuity even better would be if my cats actually used it.

Now to be fair, I have been asking quite a lot of the little critters lately, and asking them to use a new litter box just may be pushing them over the edge. After the move to the new house, they stayed under the bed for three days straight. I started to worry that they were starving themselves as some sort of protest. I kept the old litter box to make the move easier. I would take them down and sit them in it, just so they knew where to find it. Finally, they began to check things out, and at least one of my little darlings began using the litter box. A full week went by, and I have to say that use of the litter box seemed sporadic, but they were still mostly in hiding. I went ahead and set up the new Cat Genie right next to the old litter box and waited. At first nothing, but then there was much celebration when, at last, I saw the kitty poo. I danced as I pressed the button and let the Genie do it's thing. I was giddy with excitement as I flushed the poo away. I was sure that I would be safe taking away the old litter box, not to mention, my mother in law was coming to see the new house, and I really didn't want to have two litter boxes taking up the entire first floor bathroom. I kicked the old litter box to the curb, and this is when trouble ensued. Again, I was unable to tell if there was any use at all. Because the "litter" doesn't clump, I couldn't tell if there was any pee pee. Also, because the hiding continued, I thought it might be okay that their bathroom habits weren't quite normal yet. But then the smells... oh my, the critters weren't happy, and there were corners that were letting me know. This would never do.

Finally, just before (I mean like 5 minutes before) we were ready to leave for Ohio to pick up the kids, I caught one of the little beasts peeing under the desk. I picked her up and threw her into the cat genie and went to work on the stain. Meanwhile, Ken headed out to the store to buy one of the old litter boxes. Feeling defeated, we filled the litter pan and left to fetch the children.

We returned to find that the cats had indeed been using the regular litter box which is a ton better than the floor, but the Cat Genie remained untouched. My hope started to wane.

Now, the moving is at a slower pace, and boxes around the house diminish, they are becoming braver. They are beginning to act more like their old selves. Part of the process that the Cat Genie people suggest is to let the old litter box get really dirty so that they are more willing to try the new and cleaner Cat Genie. This makes sense, what with cats being naturally pretty fastidious, but it is doing nothing to help the smell of my house. Still, I am patient, I can put up with this for a short time. And then, today... POOP! In the Cat Genie! I was so excited! Now I will learn from my mistake. I am not throwing the old litter box out just yet. We will let the stinking thing sit for a little longer, but my hope is renewed. Soon, oh so soon, my litter scooping will be behind me, the litter dust, a thing of the past, my cats will be clean and happy. Those are my three wishes for the Cat Genie. Maybe I should go and rub it's side.

Ahh, good to be back.

2008-08-09T09:35:00.000-04:00

Well, it is good to be back after a somewhat forced hiatus. Some of the joys of moving include interruption of electronic communication. We had no internet for over a week, so we stole a few mornings to go to Panera's to check the ever growing email inboxes. It was, of course a good time to be without the distraction of the computer as there is still so much to be done. It feels so good to see the pile of empty boxes that leave the new house on a daily basis, but it also never ceases to amaze how many more still need to be unpacked.

The show has closed, one less distraction, and now we move into planning our next event; a cotillion dance fundraiser in October. Hopefully there will be enough breathing time to finish unpacking.

Currently I am in Ohio visiting my parents who have had my children for the last couple of weeks while we moved. The kids have had an absolute ball. They have been swimming in the pond every day, taking pony cart rides, and have pony riding lessons. We got here on Thursday, just in time to gather some much needed snuggles before they took off on a camping trip. My parents took them and the horses on Friday morning to do some camping and riding a couple hours away. Ken and I spent the day lazing about in the hot tub and drinking wine. Not a bad thing. Friday was Ken's birthday and he got the best present that I could give. We finally made up after a week of being at each other's throats. Moving can be stressful, and it is good to be away from it for awhile. Today, we have continued to laze. We strolled around the pond and picked raspberries and blackberries and Ken read to me until I fell asleep in my chair on the sunporch. The kids will be back tonight after dinner, and we will be on our way home tomorrow morning. It was a small vacation really, but much needed. I can't wait to get back and finish the house and have the kids at home with us. It really won't be home until we are all there enjoying it.

Sturm and Drang

2008-07-24T05:55:00.000-04:00

When you come to the Gray Ghost Theatre productions, we promise drama and excitement. Last night, we may have over achieved just a bit. Early in the day, we began to worry that the weather may not hold up for the show. We kept our eyes on the radar as weathermen debated if our area would be hit with a thunderstorm, or if we would be granted a miss. If it did hit, how long would it last? The afternoon was greeted with a brief and mild storm lasting no more than 5 minutes, and the blue skies returned. As we say in the theatre, the show must go on. We met at the regular time, set everything up, and the audience began to arrive.

About five minutes before our pre-show speaker was about to take he stage, the clouds began to lurk and far off lighting began to flicker. We looked to Security to tell us what to do. They shrugged. Our speaker took the stage and began his talk when word of a tornado in nearby cities began to make their way to us. And the clouds became a little darker. We decided to move the audience inside. No sooner had we made this announcement, when things got crazy.

The audience was already on their way indoors, while we were trying to cover our electrical equipment when suddenly the winds picked up and the sky went black. Our equipment is only covered by a small canopy tent which is not anchored down, we worked as fast as we could, but there wasn't enough time. The sirens began going off, and a voice over the loudspeaker on campus began saying "this is a weather emergency, please seek shelter...this is a weather emergency, please seek shelter." At this point, our cast was evacuated into the building, our children went with them. I tried my best not to panic, but I have no shame in telling you, that those sirens did their job, they scared the shit out of me. I left Ken with the equipment, and went with my kids. Security made sure that Ken quickly followed and forced him to abandon our light and sound board to the elements.

Worse yet, our horsemen (and women) were left with a dilemma. They chose to stay with their horses. They got them into their trailers and crossed their fingers. One of our guys climbed into the trailer along with three horses when he realized that if the thing was blown over, he would be trapped. He opened the windows, just in case. The animals were not thrilled with this decision, but he managed to keep them calm.

We were evacuated into a lecture hall with no windows. Our speaker now literally had a captive audience, not just the audience that came to see the show, but a number of classes that were taking place on campus whom were also evacuated to the same lecture hall, some of which were reluctantly exposed to harrowing tales of John S. Mosby, which were only interrupted by intermittent weather reports. We stayed for about a half an hour before given the all clear. The danger had passed, but the rain continued to pour. Our musicians took over, and played a few songs before we decided that indeed, there would be no show tonight.

The rain settled into a tiny sprinkle as we made our way out to check the damage. The news was not good. Our horseman with the open windows had a good view of the scene. First he saw the tent lift and twist in the air before it became mangled on it's decent. Next, the plastic covering flew off of the boards. Soon to follow, one of the monitors flew from the table and crashed on the cement in a dazzling display of sparks. Our headsets sat in puddles. They were brand new.

We dumped water, and dried off what we could. We brought everything under cover, and now we wait. We will wait to see what happens as everything dries out. Luckily we do not have a show scheduled tonight, so it gives us a little time to get a game plan together. Of course, this is the day that we are closing on the house, so we will wait to check the equipment on Friday. Keep your fingers crossed that no lasting damage was done.

We promise drama and excitement... there was definitely that. Sturm und Drang! Storm and Stress.

Hellloooo...

2008-07-22T05:17:00.000-04:00

Hello to those few who stop by once in a while to check in. I haven't been here recently. Between opening a show and closing on a house, there hasn't been much time to think, much less put two thoughts together. It is why I'm here at this very early hour in the morning. Emma came to our bed with a bad dream and my stomach was hurting, both probably suffering ill effects from the pizza that we had for dinner, so I thought I might as well take a moment to write.

We opened the show on Friday and it is going well. 5 of the 9 performances have a pre-show lecture attached to them. Friday night we had historian and author, Rich Williams join us. Unfortunately, he had trouble finding us and arrived a little late. This would have been no big deal, except for the fact that it was opening night, the audience also didn't show up until a little late, and I thought Ken might have an aneurism. Of course, both speaker and audience did arrive, and all was well besides the 10 years off of Ken's life. The good news, our speaker seemed to really enjoy the show. He was very impressed with Ken's writing and the way he was able to weave together this history. He had read a lot of these words before as Ken used a ton of primary source materials, and to see those words and stories woven together and put on stage was apparently pretty neat. That's right, I said "neat". This is why Ken is the playwright. We have seven more shows to go provided the weather cooperates. So far, so good.

Meanwhile, we pack. I write to you from a small space surrounded by towers of boxes that used to be the living room. The cats are my only companions at this early hour, and they think that the changes that we have made are fabulous. Suki, whom we also affectionately call "the puma" is especially thrilled with her new jungle home. Hiding and climbing in the packing materials is simply hours of fun. We close on the house on Thursday morning. Thursday afternoon, Ken and our good friend Will will go into the attic to clean out the squirrel mess and fix any damage, as well as replace the insulation. The orkin man will also be coming to spray and get rid of the other little critters that come to take up shelter in an empty house. Then on Friday morning, the cleaning ladies come and make everything beautiful just in time for our brand new bed to be delivered. Timing is everything in this case. My parents are coming to see the show on Friday, so our plan is to sleep in the new house on Friday night. The official move doesn't happen until Monday, but there is no way that any more people can fit into this maze of boxes that we have built. We call it "urban camping", and it's quite possible that we will continue this state of camping for a few weeks to come, but moving a couple of beds over should help lessen the chaos.

My parents will be taking the kids back to Ohio with them for some relaxing in the pond and riding the pony. They deserve a little time away where all of the focus and attention is on them. We have tried to give them as much family time as we can. We certainly drag them with us wherever we go, and yesterday we took some time to hit the pool, but still, our focus has been split.

It is all coming to fruition. The show, the house... Sam said it best the other day, "we're living the dream." Of course, it sometimes feels more like a nightmare, but maybe that's just the pizza talking again. My mom asked how we were managing to do this all at once, and I just told her, "one step at a time."

Tech

2008-07-15T08:42:00.001-04:00

Last night we started tech week. For those who don't know, this is when we add in the sound, lights, costumes, and any other effects, such as fog machines, horses, gunfire, etc. Tech week is also known as hell week. It can be tedious and long, especially for the actors. Personally, I have always loved tech week. This is when you see all of the stuff that you've been imagining in your head, come to life right before your eyes. Last night, however, was a special circumstance.

Part of our rehearsal was taken up by a special reception that was happening at the amphitheater. This is where all of the wonderful people who put money or efforts towards building this space were invited to dedicate the Mary Louise Jackson Amphitheater. Part of the dedication included a half hour performance of our show. So for our very first tech rehearsal, we had an audience of about 100 influential and affluent people. I was a nervous wreck. You never know what might happen with lights or sound when you've never run it before. We were supposed to mingle and enjoy the catering and do some general hob knobbing before the show, but I just grabbed a plate and went back to the booth. I let Ken do the rubbing of elbows, I had a show to run.

I am happy to tell you, that it all went off without a hitch. Not surprisingly, the cast was better than ever. It's amazing how an audience will have that effect. After our sneak peek, we started our real tech. We moved at a snails pace, and I started to worry that there was no way we would be ready to open this Friday. Tonight we have a new game plan, and we will hope that it all works out. Of course, it will, because that is the true magic of theatre.

10 Days 'til Opening!

2008-07-08T11:04:00.000-04:00

We are in the throes of production. Our days are filled with making plans for the move and promoting the show. Our evenings are spent at rehearsal being eaten by bugs, spotting deer and trying to dodge rain. So far, so good. Gotta love outdoor theatre.

This weekend we had light hang and set load in. As always, there was a little excitement. During light hang, Ken saw and killed two Black Widow Spiders. One of them had a nest with a bunch of babies. They weren't able to kill all of the babies, so we have a bunch of Black Widow babies running around the theatre. Oh goodie. Really they are behind the theatre, but guess where I have to go every night to turn on the light box? Shiver.

The next day during load in, my assistant stage manager had a genie run over her toe. No, this is not a wish granting half man, half smoke genie, but an electronic ladder, cherry picker type machine and it rolled right into her toe. There was blood and tears, but overall I think that she is fine. She doesn't even think that it is broken, hallelujah. Still not a great event.

But with the set on stage, everyone is getting very excited. We had the actors walk the space last night. We should be able to start rehearsing on it by mid week. Then the following week the horses will show up and fill in their part. Our fight choreographer has been here for the last couple of weeks and the combat in the show is really looking great. Ah yes, this is when all of the work starts to come together,

Just 10 days until OPENING!

If you want to see more rehearsal photos check out www.grayghosttheatre.com . If you are in the area, come and see the show.

2008-07-02T10:42:00.000-04:00

We got over to the house yesterday so we cold take some measurements and pictures. Here are a few.

The front greets you with a huge oak tree.

The foyer.

The kitchen has some great windows over the sink so you can look out into the backyard.

Then onto the family room.

Then out to the back yard. This is our new plum tree. It gives green plums and they are absolutely delicious. The kids had a ball picking them and we are still eating them. Of course, technically we stole those plums because the house is still in someone else's name, but I don't think they'll mind.

And now the best part...the view.

I mean, it's not mountain, or beach, but for a little house in the suburbs, I love it.

These pictures really don't do it justice, and I won't bore you with bedrooms and bathrooms. At least not while they're empty. Now that we have actually found a house, the waiting seems almost unbearable. I can't wait to do laundry with the new machines on the first floor rather than down in the basement with a bicycle hanging over my head. I can't wait to have a linen closet rather than the stand that sits over the toilet with all of my towels hanging on it. I can't wait to have a garage rather than the parking lot that I share with all of the other townhouse owners.

This townhouse has served my family well, but saying goodbye will not be too difficult.

5th Time's a Charm!

2008-07-01T08:15:00.000-04:00

Well after having bid too low on house number 1, having the white witch own house number 2, having the brother move in to house number 3, and having been outbid by cash on house number 4 (yes, I hadn't talked about that one yet), we went ahead and put in a "hail mary" bid on house number 5!

The house is in great condition and it is the neighborhood that I wanted to be in. It backs onto the footpath and pond, and it was priced out of our reach. We'd been watching it for awhile, because we thought it was a tad over priced and were waiting for it to come down some. Finally we got tired of waiting, and asked to see the inside. It was lovely, and even though we thought we might not get it, even though others in the area had sold for less, we went ahead and put in a bid.

Now, do you think that this one could be just a straight forward sale? Of course not. We got the news that the owners accepted the bid, however... they had been relocated for work. So now, the relocating company was paying for their house they left behind, and they had to approve this sale.

We waited on pins and needles.

Yesterday, we got the call. We officially have a ratified contract!!! We jumped for joy, we sang, we spun children around. Then our realtor and our mortgage broker put a big damper on the situation. They told us not to get too excited until closing which will be later this month (right after we open the show). Our broker also informed us of all of the paperwork we were missing. This was truly annoying. A lot of the stuff we had already turned in months ago, but for some reason, he doesn't have it. Also, we have been looking at houses and working with this guy for months and he waits until NOW to tell us that he needs some other things? What has he been doing all of this time? Well, I don't care what they say, I'm celebrating! We are on our way to owning a house! I can't wait! Now to start packing!

It's my thyroid!

2008-06-29T08:16:00.000-04:00

I've gone for a check up. I've been noticing some changes in energy level, and I have a condition that I have dubbed a "sputtering ovary", so I thought it was time to have someone take a look under the hood.

The doctor could not have been more complimentary on how healthy everything appears to be, and set my mind at ease, but just because of age and whatnot, he checked my blood for cholesterol and thyroid. The news could have been better. I am now on thyroid medication. Not a huge surprise as my grandmother, mother, and two uncles are all on thyroid meds, I was just hoping to put it off for another ten years or so. But, on the other hand, this came as a great relief. Now I understand why I have been so tired over the last half year at least, and why, no matter what diet I am on, I can't seem to lose a pound. I am hoping that this is a magic pill that has me feeling better in no time.

Now for more jaw dropping news (at least to me), my cholesterol was high. What? Not high enough to start on medication, just enough that I now buy everything fat free. I was just so surprised. I mean, yes, I could stand to lose 10 or 15 pounds, but I am still within the normal weight range for my age and height. I didn't see this one coming.

Well, with my magic pill, I am sure that I will have more than enough energy to start some kind of workout routine (just as soon as we are through buying a house and producing a show), and the cholesterol and pounds will just melt away.

Best part of the situation is that I now have an excuse for everything. "I'm sleepy." It's my thyroid. "I'm chilly." It's my thyroid. "I'm grumpy." It's my thyroid. It's my mantra, and it makes me giggle.

Another Step out of the Shell

2008-06-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

The difference in my children never ceases to amaze me. Sam has always had a natural self confidence, no one is a stranger, and to him, there is no difference between a group of five people or a crowd of 500. Sam is just Sam. I find this to be both wonderful, and terrifying. There are times that I cringe as he talks casually to anyone who will listen about whatever happens to be on his mind. At his kindergarten graduation, he surprised everyone with an impromptu speech about how it was sad to be leaving his school, but he knew that his class was prepared for 1st grade and bigger and better things. He ended with a fist pump and telling his classmates to "go get 'em". All of the parents turned their heads to us, we just shrugged and smiled. One dad leaned to us and said, "Sam for President".

Emma is a different creature all together. At home, she is a singer, songwriter, stage performer, artist, and athlete. She is a more than willing participant in all of Sam's schemes, or plays, or whatever it is that they are making up. But out there, in the real world, she becomes quiet. Some might mistake her attitude as aloof, but it is just her shield. She does not leave home without it. Some one we know will see us out and about, they will say, "Hi, Emma. How are you?" Emma answers with a glare and if I am lucky, she will utter through clenched teeth and a frown, "Fine". And then retreat behind my leg. Or better still is when she looks up at me and rolls her eyes, like "do I really have to talk to this person?" It doesn't matter that I have explained that this is really rude behavior, it pains her to talk with those outside of her very close circle. She's shy. Even if it comes across as a scowling teenager, she is just shy.

There are a few places where Emma feels really comfortable. The soccer field is one of them. She has a natural ability, and it is a joy to watch her play, so when tryouts for the all star team came up, we decided to go for it. Even though she is about a head shorter than most of the girls, and a year behind, even though it is only her second year playing, she made the A team. She was thrilled. And terrified. The coaches for this team were not like the coaches she had in the past. These coaches coached. After the first couple of practices, I noticed Emma starting to shut down. The other girls seemed to know each other from other all star teams, the coaches used terms she didn't understand. Emma felt like she didn't know what she was doing, and my heart started to ache for her. There was a time that she wanted to quit. I kept in her ear that this was all a part of getting better. Being a better player, and a better team member would require her to get to know the other girls and to ask questions when she didn't understand something.

One of the parents had brought a giant spray can to mist the girls during practice to help them keep cool. All of the girls flocked over... except Emma. During the break, she would come to me and get her drink and look longingly at the laughing gaggle as they took turns spraying each other. "Do you want to go get sprayed?" I asked. She nodded. "Then go over there." She dragged her feet, forcing herself over knowing that no one else could do this for her. The whistle blew, and it was time to go back to drills. During the next break, she was quicker to move. "Emma, do you want a spray?'' the dad asked. She nodded and ran over. Soon she was laughing, and when it was time to play again, she was playing 20 times better.

From that moment on, she began to enjoy herself, and her teammates began enjoying her.

For Father's Day, we spent the weekend on the soccer field. Emma's team won 3 out of 4 games played over the two day period. She had an absolute ball. I was so proud of her, as she took another step out of her shell.

The Details

2008-06-08T10:15:00.000-04:00

So the Obama event was hot and long, but more so, it was energizing, inspiring, and full of excitement. It was honestly one of the most integrated group of people I have ever been a part of, and I loved it. You could feel it in the air. We were there as one, feeling more the same than ever, holding the same dream, the same hope. I am sure that I've mentioned this before, but after the 2004 elections, when the country overwhelming voted republican, and shot down gay marriage, and voted the worst president in history back in office for a second term, I felt utterly alone. As if the voices that spoke for my way of thinking had been utterly silenced. And worse, they were silenced with fear and lies. To finally have someone who can find our voice with such passion and eloquence is truly moving.

Speaking of moving, the owner of the short-sale house wants to take it off the market, as he is working something out with the brother. So, so long house. The search continues.

So my friend and I were on our way to a meeting on Friday when were were hit by a car careening out of control. Truly, I have seen nothing like that in real life ever. It looked like a scene out of the Dukes of Hazzard. We were at a busy intersection sitting in the left turn lane. To our right, we had three more lanes of traffic. There was one car in front of us also waiting to make a left. The light changed, we got our green arrow, and the car in front of us pulled out into the intersection when another car came running through her red light to the right of us. My friend was driving, and she immediately saw what was about to happen so kept her foot on the brake as not to get in the way. Ah, yes, it should have ended there.

The car in front of us clips the red light runner. The red light runner panics, puts her foot on the gas and continues to turn the wheel. So now she is coming around to our left, crosses the median at a high rate of speed. This catapults her into the air, her car comes down on the front of our car, she then continues to speed past the three lanes of cars to our right before finding her brake and ending up basically where she started. Amazingly, no one was hurt. Had we pulled up just a foot, and the car would have landed in our window instead of the hood. We missed the meeting, and spent the next two hours on the side of the road taking turns talking to policemen and waiting for a tow truck. Then we went to lunch and waited for Ken to come and pick us up. Crazy.

Later we had a rehearsal for Gray Ghost. This year, we had some different casting challenges, and while we got a great group of people come out for the show, we did not get the right people to fill the roles for the show we did last year. So what does my brilliant husband do? He decides to write a completely new show so that we can use the people that we have. There were numerous times that I thought he had lost his mind. Monday, we had the first attempt at a read through, and I don't think that I will hurt anyones feelings when I say that it was abysmal. Not the acting, the script. I now went into full panic mode, and decided that we should call the whole thing off. Yes, it would kill our reputation, yes, it would kill our chances for grants in the coming year, but I couldn't see another way out. Ken kept writing. By Friday, we were ready to get the cast together again, and try out the new and improved script. I crossed my fingers and we jumped in. I still cannot get my head around what my brilliant husband can do. The script, which was a boring piece of strung together monologues became an action packed piece of brilliance within four days. I do not believe myself to be an easy audience, even though I am a bit biased to the works of those that I love, but I love this new script. I may like it even more than last years (and that would be saying something). Either way, I am totally excited to see this show come to life.

So an exciting couple of days, followed by one really long day in the sweltering heat of the soccer fields, and now a morning to rest before it all starts again.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

Busy Day, Quick Update

2008-06-06T22:30:00.000-04:00

Saw Obama yesterday - It was fabulous!

In a car accident today - Not so fabulous!

Gray Ghost Rehearsal with new script - Pretty fabulous!

I'm exhausted, I will write more later.

Ooh, Ooh, He's coming HERE!

2008-06-04T19:38:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow! It's happening tomorrow! Barack, our official Democratic nominee (even if Hilary won't concede, what is that about? Don't even get me started) is coming to my county and I am going to see him. I am yanking my kids out of school early so that we can go sit in line for three hours in the hopes of getting close to this man, whom I have come to adore.

I know, I know, I sound like a teen on her way to see an idol, but after these last seven years, that is just how I feel. I have to go charge my batteries to my camera. I can hardly wait. I explained to the kids what we would be doing, and they are into it, even they know there will be a lot of waiting. We are witnessing history, and I am so excited!

2008-06-02T14:55:00.000-04:00

This is my son turning 10!

A full day full of chocolate chip pancakes, soccer games, soccer injuries, greek parties, movies, and more.

This picture was taken at exactly 9:41pm the exact time of his birth. On this day, we were just coming out of the movie theatre, having watched Prince Caspian as the last event of the party. We waited together in the parking lot to celebrate the exact moment. After a stormy night, the clouds parted and Sam screamed in celebration, just like 10 years ago.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Surprise Inspection

2008-05-29T16:40:00.000-04:00

So a little over a week ago we put a bid in on a house. I really like this house, and I am still hopeful we will get it, but it is a short sale. Now we wait on the bank. In the meantime, we continue to look at other properties.

Late last week we saw one that seemed to have promise. A lot of square footage, for not too much money. It was a foreclose, and was truly a fixer upper, but real potential. We decided that we would bid and see which contract came through first. The only thing that we wanted to do before placing the contract was to have it inspected. We have a friend who does this, and charged us nothing to come and take a look. Thank. God.

We knew there was some mold in the basement, but we couldn't tell if there was something actually leaking (which would be a big deal), or if they had just let something sit on the carpet and rot (gross, but not a big deal, tearing up the carpet, killing the mold and replacing the floors and problem solved) Our friend was worried when he saw the mold, and we too noticed that the problem had gotten worse since the first time we had been in there. The house is shut up, and there is no electric, we have had alternating hot and rainy days, you can imagine the growth.

We took two hours going over the house and then decided that it was not worth the risk. Part of me was relieved. I still really wanted the house that we already have the bid on.

Today I decided to take a drive by my hopefully future home. Just to check in on it, give it some loving energy to come my way... but what is this? There was a carpet cleaning van parked in the driveway and the gas and electric truck parked outside. What the hell, it looks like someone is moving in? I immediately called Ken, who called our realtor, who called their realtor. Their realtor couldn't figure out who that would be and was very confused and concerned as was I. Our realtor drove over to the house and talked to the guy there. According to him, this was his brothers house, and he just bought it from his brother and was moving in. He also informed our man that he purchased it for 60 Thousand dollars less that what we are offering.

Our realtor called their realtor again. Their realtor was very alarmed. It made no sense, and believes that whatever is going on, it may not be legal. Even if the house owner decided to go behind his realtor back and sell on his own, he still has to have approval from the bank. That's the whole deal with a short sale.

I don't know what will happen next. Perhaps the bank decided to give the guy a break and kept the sale in the family. Perhaps the bank will hear about this and say, no, no, we already have another offer and we're accepting. Maybe it will even get things moving a little faster. Either way, we will be fine.

I am, however, really glad that I went over today to check.

Redo's and Dont's

2008-05-29T08:08:00.001-04:00

Over the holiday weekend we decided to do a family project. Our patio furniture had been blown across the deck during a storm (2nd time that's happened), and the legs had busted off of the wooden table. It sat face down all winter, uncovered, and was ruined. The chairs weren't much better. With the weather being as beautiful as it has been, we couldn't wait to get outside, and let's face it, I've been watching so much HGTV in preparation for our move, I have been itching to start a project, so we headed out to Home Depot.

The family was excited. We had a gorgeous day and we were all together. Oh good, family time. While getting ready to go, Sam snapped at Emma about something, so Ken snapped at Sam. The pouting ensued. On the way to the store, we drove by a house that we were interested in buying so we could show the kids. Sam continued to pout. We headed into the store, full of excitement about our project, Emma held a table leg so that we could match stains, Sam continued to pout.

We started to get angry. Ken and I start grumbling that he was pushing it. Sam says that he's not feeling well. Oh sure he's not feeling well. This is his excuse for pouting, and not being a part of our family redo. "Sam, you need to get over this. Buck up!" Yes, I actually sad "buck up". Again, he complains that his stomach hurts. Rolling my eyes, I tell him that I will take him to the bathroom if thinks that will help. He decides that the bathroom would be a good idea. We start marching through the store, only stopping once to make sure that we are on the right path, we ask an employee. He sends us on our way. We make it three feet further when Sam stops and vomits right there in the middle of home depot.

I immediately feel like a heal. Annoyance quickly, almost magically, turns to concern, followed by guilt. I turned to the helpful employee, knowing that we just made his day, and tell him "...um.. we didn't make it." Sam has vomit on his shoes, and I have egg on my face.

After a quick clean up, Sam and I spent the rest of the Home Depot visit in the car waiting...a good chance for me to apologize. We took him home, and he slept through the redoing of the patio furniture. I don't think he really cared. He doesn't really go for that kind of work. He was only put out by the fact that we had to postpone our plans with friends that evening.

By the end of the day, Sam was feeling fine, and our patio furniture being sanded and newly stained was looking beautiful. All was forgiven and right with the world.

I'm only worried that we may be banned from Home Depot for a time.

Colonial Day

2008-05-25T08:33:00.001-04:00

On Friday Sam's class had colonial day, and they performed the play that we have been working on for the last month. It was absolutely wonderful. They all had on their colonial costumes, they played colonial games, used their colonial manners. Then all of the parents and the rest of the 4th graders gathered in the auditorium to see the show.

This play process has really been rewarding. To see a bunch of 9 and 10 year olds get excited about theatre was thrilling. All of them decided that it was a ton more work than they thought it would be, and also totally worth it. The kids were in charge of moving the sets, bringing on the props and of course, learning the lines. There were times that I thought we may have been pushing it, but when it came time for performance, they pulled it off flawlessly. Ken watched from the audience, I stayed back stage with the kids to help make sure everyone knew what they were doing. As they waited to go on, they all came up and gave me hugs. So sweet.

After the show in which the kids not only played out the story but also sang, danced, and played their recorders, the class invited us to come and share in their meal. Parents had gone all out making a feast to rival Thanksgiving. We had turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, corn, homemade rolls, and pies. A great time was had by all, and the kids were all so proud of themselves. They continued to hug both Ken and I before we left them to their afternoon.

Sam's teacher (who was the initiator of this whole wonderful thing) asked us what we had enjoyed the most. Ken and I agreed that forging a relationship beyond "Sam's Mom and Dad" with these kids was a treat, but also watching them come together, to work together for the class and for the show. That IS the magic of theatre.

The Waiting Room

2008-05-20T16:51:00.001-04:00

I seem to be in a place of waiting. We are waiting to see if the bid on the house will be approved by the bank. I am waiting on my allergy prescription to be refilled while I sniff and snort and generally grump through the day. I'm waiting to see if tonight is the night that Hillary starts to wind down one of the longest freaking campaigns ever. And I am waiting until I am 10 pounds thinner before I buy any new clothes.

As to the house...well, whadda ya gonna do? The allergy medicine....I hate Kaiser Permanente (why would it take over two days to refill a prescription?) Hillary..... please Kentucky, please... what can you possibly gain by voting for her at this point? What am I missing? And will Geraldine Ferraro please take her medication, she has gone off the deep end. And lastly my 10 pounds (15 would be even better) I've ordered the weight watchers at home kit, it should be arriving any day now.

So as I wait, I will take a moment of meditation. Let me accept what is, and live in the now.

Shhh.... Be Vewy Vewy Quiet....I'm hunting Houses.

2008-05-15T18:00:00.000-04:00

So the couple who so nicely showed us their house, and encouraged us to put in a bid, knowing that we were going to our max, turned us down flat. And really, it's their prerogative(is that the craziest way to spell a word or what?). I just wish we hadn't wasted our time. We now lovingly refer to the lady as "The White Witch" because her hair was white, the house was white, the carpet was white, the walls were white, you see what I mean.

Anyway, we went back to the original plan and put a bid on the neighboring house. The problem with this one is that it is a short sale. So now we wait. As I understand it, we could be waiting for quite some time. According to the selling realtor, we are the only bid on the house, and the bank is getting ready to call it quits and foreclose. This could be a good thing, as we should know within a couple of weeks if the bank decides to accept our offer, or if they've decided to foreclose. Or it could be a bad thing, because if they decide to foreclose, they will take it off of the market until they have the time to process the paperwork to take ownership, have it appraised, and put it back on the market. This could take weeks, or months.

When we started this hunt, I had know idea it would be this difficult. We have seen a ton of foreclosures and short sales, but they all need so much work, it's sometimes hard to face. I don't mind a little fixing up, but we saw one that needed to have every bathroom in the house redone. EVERY ONE! Really, it's just too much.

In the meantime, we sit contentedly in our little town house. It's not so bad. I really am thankful to have such a warm and clean house to come home to after seeing the sad disrepair of so many homes out there. All will be well.

Love Story

2008-05-13T06:54:00.000-04:00

She knew the attraction was unnatural from the start. Still, the strong, muscular body, the deep brown eyes, knowing that the raw power could snap her like a twig at any moment, was just too intoxicating. Worse yet, she knew her affection was not returned. Oh how she longed to wrap her small delicate body close to the heat of her hearts desire, living in the same building was beginning to feel like torture. There were even times that she thought her affections were being mocked.

Then, one morning, she spotted her opportunity. Her fantasy was lying asleep, and the sight was too breathtaking. Before she could think better of it she found herself creeping quietly over and nestled in close, so close she could feel the others breath upon her. She dared not touch for fear of waking the beautiful sleeper. Little did she know, she had already been spotted, but nothing was said. Strangely, there seemed to be an acceptance.

It was the beginning of a true love story.

A Love Note

2008-05-11T10:12:00.000-04:00

Ken and I have found that if we grate some orange peel and cinnamon into our coffee grounds, we have a sweet and delicious cafe' brulot, minus the cognac and flames, but still, it is now one of my favorite things.

Emma being her sweet self has taken notice. She now saves the peel from the oranges that she snacks on and puts them in a baggy for us. This was the first one that I found, and it came with a note.

In case you can't see it, this is what it says, "her is sum ogue peyol mom and Dad". How thoughtful. It is one of the loveliest love notes I've ever received, and it made the coffee even more delicious.

The House Hunt Continues

2008-05-10T19:11:00.000-04:00

So Ken and I thought that we had decided upon a house, but before putting in a contract, we decided that we should go and see it one more time. On Wednesday, our realtor was busy, so we decided to go over ourselves and look at the outside, which was what we really wanted to look at anyway. The back gate was open, so we took a walk around the house and decided, yes, this is the one. We were just getting back in the car when a neighbor came by. "Are you the new owners?" She asked.

"Not yet," I answered.

"Well, you should come over and see my house, it's for sale."

"Yes, I saw that, but you are a little out of our price range."

"We're negotiable."

So off we went. It was lovely, but I knew that our top range was fifty thousand less than her asking. Halfway through the tour, I let her know that we would gladly go to our very top, but it was probably still too low for her, and we began talking numbers. Strangely enough, she continued the tour and urged us to submit an offer to her realtor, and they would see if they could work something out.

We left feeling very hopeful, and immediately started the paperwork. I wanted them to know that we were very interested, so we moved fast. Yesterday morning the bid went in. Today our realtor called and told us that their realtor did not plan on submitting the bid until late today. So, though the bid was received by the realtor on Friday morning, she didn't submit until Saturday afternoon. What is up with that? I understand that she wanted to wait until Saturday traffic had a chance to flow, but it seems that she can at least tell the sellers that there is a bid already on the house. Especially since they should be expecting this one.

I suppose it is no big deal. I'm just feeling antsy. I've been online picking out paint colors all day. I am so looking forward to the day when I don't have to have white walls anymore.

A little Begging Never Hurt

2008-04-22T09:13:00.000-04:00

So today is the long awaited Pennsylvania Primary. It's been a long haul, and I I thought that it would never get here, and now that it is upon us, I wait with a hopeful dread.

So I decided to write to beg. Not that any mass group of Pennsylvanians read this blog, but this is what is on my mind.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! Pennsylvania, I am begging you to vote for Barack Obama and put an end to the misery.

I am not anit-Hillary. I was for awhile as things got nastier, but I've cooled down. I'm sure that her ideas are good, and that she is a capable leader, but there is also no question that she is one of the most divisive characters of our time. Whether the label is truly earned or not matters little, but the effect matters a great deal.

Our country cannot survive another leader that inspires hate from at least half of the people. We need a leader who inspires hope here at home, and across the world. We need a leader that states that we are not stuck in the past, but ready to step boldly into the future.

It is time to come together. If Hillary wins today, the probability of her winning the nomination is still a long shot, but the probability that McCain wins in November increases. It is time.

Shot Down

2008-04-22T07:21:00.001-04:00

Well, we finally put an offer on a house, and have been rejected with nary a counter offer. It's really not that big of a deal. There will be other houses, and other offers, and let's face it, time is on our side, but I just think that there are still a ton of people who are delusional about this market. Then again, maybe I'm the delusional one. The offer that we gave was 20 thousand less than their asking price, yet still not even a counter? The ad clearly stated "make us an offer", and "motivated seller." Hmm. Keep in mind, that other houses in the neighborhood have been sitting on the market for many months. Also, they bought the house for 100 thousand less than what we were offering, so they weren't in the boat with those losing money. I am interested to see what happens.

For now, I think that we will take a short break. There are many short sales that are going to foreclosure, and we are waiting for some of them to come back onto the market. Crazy times.

Oh The Drama!

2008-04-09T09:08:00.000-04:00

Today we have a meeting with all of the parents of Sam's fourth grade class. Sam's teacher has decided to do a play about the first settlers of Jamestown. Knowing that theatre is what we do, she asked for some help. Ken and I were more than glad to jump in. We thought that we would be directing a short skit that the class would do during their Virginia Studies hour. Oh, how wrong we were. Short skit quickly became full out dinner theatre musical. We will be asking parents to help with set, costumes, sound design and help with the historically appropriate meal that will follow. The music teacher will help by finding period songs for the kids to learn which will be inserted into the show. The play will be performed for parents as well as the rest of the fourth graders. Wow, how did that happen? I'm not complaining mind you. I think it is absolutely wonderful. I was just surprised at how much enthusiasm was shown for the project. Hopefully the rest of the parents will be as excited, though knowing this group, they will be.

Also today, I will be meeting with the teachers at my preschool (that is, the preschool where I work) to go over what we are doing for the upcoming Art Show. The Art Show always includes some type of performance by both students and teachers, it's the only time that the teachers are asked to also get on stage, but it is usually something small that includes lip syncing and doing a silly dance. And we always have a theme. One year it was "Grace Through The Ages", (Grace being the name of the school) and teachers performed to different songs from the 50's, 60's, 70's, and so on. Last year it was a "School for All Seasons" and we lip synced to "A Girl For All Seasons" from Grease 2. Yes, a timeless classic. This year the theme is "Look at what the Lord has Made". We will be performing to the opening number from "Children Of Eden" by Stephen Schwartz. Again, what could have been a small thing has been blown up to a full production. We are making sets with trees and waterfalls. Every child in the school will be involved as well as the teachers. Who's fault is this? Mine. As the drama teacher at the school, I am expected to throw in my two cents, and this song came to mind immediately when I heard the theme. Well, it just spun out of control from there. Again, I am surprised with the enthusiasm that has greeted the project.

Ah, the magic of theatre. Let the collaborations begin!

House Sweet House

2008-04-07T11:20:00.000-04:00

After six years of renting and being priced out of the market, we are finally house hunting. I'm sorry to all of those who are being hurt by this market and the falling house prices, but I have to say, it is exactly what we have been waiting for.

We started to look at houses three years ago, at the beginning of the bubble. Homeowners put ridiculous prices on their homes, and buyers, with the help of realtors, and mortgage brokers, paid for them. There was much debate as to whether we were actually in a bubble, and if we were, when would it burst, and how hard would it fall? It got crazier and crazier, so we waited.

Well, we know now, the bubble was real, and while it may not be an all out explosion, the pin prick has been made and the quick and steady leak has deflated the balloon. The amount of forclosures and short sales in the area are staggering, yet I am still baffled at some of the prices. We are sure that we can find a deal in this market, though our realtor seems less sure. This also baffles me.

For the last two weeks we have been looking at houses. There have been a couple that spark an interest, but nothing has just called out, "buy me!" It's also starting to seem that we are seeing the same house over and over again just in different states of disrepair. We have decided to make the jump to start looking at houses in the next price level. We will keep the loan amount the same, but put more money down. I'm hoping that will open us up to a few more possibilities.

Luckily for us, we are in no hurry. The good news that prompted the start of the hunt is that it seems that Ken's tenure has gone through. (Yea! And there will be much rejoicing!) We are still waiting on the official letter, but have been told that it is a go. Wow, what a weight off. We weren't expecting any problems, but it is just one of those things that you cannot take for granted. What we don't know yet, is how much of a raise is included with this promotion. We know the minimum required, but are hoping for a more dramatic bump. (crossing fingers)

So the hunt continues. It is frustrating to see what has happened to the market and know that even though we waited, so that we would not get in over our heads, our tax dollars will still go to those who decided to make a go for it and failed. Especially when those dollars are bailing out the banks who really should have known better. And I am not knocking those individuals who made the wrong decision. I get it, I really do. We could have easily fallen for the smooth talking that was going on had it not been for my father who has worked in banking most of his life. Over and over again he told me that not only could we not afford what they were trying to sell us, but that it is never wise to buy when everyone else is buying. So thank you Dad.

I will keep you appraised of the process, whether you like it or not. I'm hoping that it will keep my thoughts straight as we go through this. Wish us luck!

Dinner Conversation

2008-04-01T19:54:00.000-04:00

Emma: I want to be bitten by a werewolf.

Me: Really? I think I'd rather be bitten by a vampire, they're better looking. Ha ha.

Emma: What?! But they're cute little puppies!

Me: What?! They're all hairy and snarly, and teethy.

Emma: I wanna be bitten by a husky... no... a dalmation.

Me: But then you'll just be a girl with a bite who needs to be pumped full of antibiotics.

Emma: A RADIOACTIVE Dalmation!

Me: OOOOhhh. So really you just want to be a puppy.

Emma: Yeah.

A Clear Head

2008-03-29T11:18:00.000-04:00

As you may recall, I've recently started allergy medicines. They have helped to truly clear my head, not just of snot, but of ideas. I swear I have writers block, which is ridiculous since I don't really consider myself a writer. I've been reading many blogs jealously, wishing for some creative spark to take hold. Does anyone out there no what I mean?

Fat Boys

2008-03-26T08:49:00.000-04:00

Remember when Rap was good? It had a witty sense of humor, and a healthy confidence. Last night while practicing with the band, the guitar player started singing some Fat Boys. Our drummer was like, "what is that?" I was like, "what!?, That is the Fat Boys." I was in 8th or 9th grade when I found the Fat Boys and wore out my bootlegged cassette tape of their album while memorizing every lyric. Which by the way, I can't remember any of anymore. My best friend and I loved them. Two scrawny little white girls from Ohio would stand in front of the bathroom mirror and lip sync every song while jammin' out with hairbrushes in hands. We were the coolest! Fat Boys, Run DMC, Salt and Peppa, and of course, The Fresh Prince. Most of our friends thought we were crazy, but we thought we were cutting edge. It was a small town where most everyone still listens to ACDC.

So what happened to Rap? When did it lose it's funny? I'll be honest, I don't listen to it anymore, and rarely think about it, but hearing just one Fat Boy phrase, and I became nostalgic. Maybe I wasn't nostalgic for Rap, but for standing and jammin' in the bathroom mirror. All that practice wasn't all for naught. Once we won a lip syncing contest to Salt and Peppa' "Push It". Oh yeah, we were stars.

Mellow Drama

2008-03-10T20:03:00.000-04:00

I've been sick... again. I'm actually to the point that I am embarrassed to tell people. I've never had a year where I just can't get better. This time it was in the form of a sinus infection. Ken and I were set to perform for a fundraiser on Saturday, and I was laid out, so I decided I had to go to the doctor.

He put me on antibiotics, but lo and behold, he also gave me a slew of allergy medicine. I didn't used to have allergies. Suddenly I'm taking a pill and a shot of nose spray nightly, and guess what? I feel better. It seems that all of these new allergies have actually been making me sick. What starts as post nasal drip, turns into sore throat, laryngitis, sinusitis, and any other crap you can think of. So now, I have pills. And that makes me happy.

Our little performance, which was a fun, over the top melodrama was well received. It was a classic:

Villain: You must pay the rent.

Damsel: I can't pay the rent.

Villain: You must pay the rent.

Damsel: I can't pay the rent.

Hero: I'll pay the rent.

Damsel: My hero!

Ken played the Hero, I got to play the Vamp and had a killer dress, and I could kill myself for forgetting the camera. I was actually able to pull it off, because I could actually breathe through my nose. The audience was great, and we were able to make some good contacts for our Theatre Company.

So, due to infections and shows, I haven't written. And now that I have been away, I am out of practice. The witty turn of phrase is no where to be found. So consider this my first attempt to come back. To get the juices flowing. With pills to help clear my head, I'm sure that something spectacular is on the horizon.

G'Obama II

2008-03-04T09:08:00.001-05:00

Well, today is the day. The big election. The one that I have found myself obsessing about for some time now, and I'm a little nervous. As I am sitting here with my morning coffee and getting more than my fill of predictions on CNN, they started talking about the Republicans who were voting Democrat in these primaries. Some, because they are tired of the current administrations shenanigans, others for more strategic reasons. They had one political science teacher on who admitted that he would be voting for Clinton because she would be easier to beat. "Hee, hee, I voted for Clinton, hee hee." I'm not kidding. He sneered and giggled as he confessed. Completely amused with how clever he was being. It also seems to me that all of Hillary's belly aching about news coverage has paid off. She's been everywhere in the past week. I have no problem with that. It's a campaign after all, but dishonest voting bugs me.

Ken warned me not to watch too much today, and I know that it is good advice. I think perhaps it is time to turn on the music and get to cleaning something.

Destination Imagination

2008-03-03T15:29:00.000-05:00

If you ever checked out my old blog at live journal, you would see that little Em had a rough start to the year. Still her teachers lack of compassion stuns me, but at least things are better than the beginning of the year, and I have made myself a presence in the classroom.

Not to long ago a Destination Imagination team was formed, and Emma was asked to join. She was hesitant at first, as is her nature. She likes to be home, she likes to be with Mom, it takes a lot for her to step out of her comfort zone. We explained to her that once she joined, it was a commitment, a team, culminating in a team event and performance. With a little persuasion, she went to the first meeting. It quickly became her favorite activity of the week. It absolutely made the difference in her outlook toward school.

The team had been given a task: Choose something that happened in the past and change it. Make up a play that will tell the story of how your team changed history. They had to make up a song and props, and a "magical" element. They worked for several weeks to reach their solution. Not to brag too overtly (course, it's my blog, I'll brag if I want to) the team chose Emma's idea of "What if the Titanic never sank". On Saturday, the DI team (and parents) traveled for over an hour, at a very early hour, to their competition.

Emma was over the moon. She was one of over 300 kids at the competition from kindergarten to 12th grade. Just watching her walk in the big school with the big kids, full of confidence, was enough to put a smile on my face through the whole day. She really felt a part of something. It was a long day. Opening ceremonies were at 8:00am, and closing ceremonies were at 5:30pm. They performed their main challenge, participated in a creative cake/cake walk event, then had to do an instant challenge. The instant challenge is a secret, I don't even know what they had to do, but it involved working as a team to come up with a solution on the spot. These competitions continue throughout the region for the next month, which is why this is such a secret. Finally there was a sock hop party at the end.

After lunch, I had a little moment with Em, and I told her that I was very proud of her. She nodded, and with a big smile said, "I'm proud of me too." How she has grown.

The team received high praise. Being in the "Rising Stars" category, they were not in real competition. They were "appraised" rather than "judged". I think this experience will stay with her for a long time. She is already talking about next year.

The Gray Ghost Theatre Company

2008-02-29T08:00:00.001-05:00

Ken and I have created a professional, history based theatre company called The Gray Ghost Theatre Co., feel free to check it out, www.grayghosttheatre.com . This our second year of producing our summer show. Currently we are in the throes of putting together our production calendar and finding sponsors so that we can pay everyone involved. I have lost my husband to the computer as he works non stop to reach the grant deadlines. In order to stay close to him, we sit together at the kitchen table with our laptops and work together. Yes, this is me procrastinating, by posting on my blog, but what he doesn't know, won't hurt him.

This is always an exciting time. It is also filled with fear, and anxiety, but it will be worth it.

As my mind is racing with all that has to be done, I am finding it very difficult to focus enough to put any coherent thought together, so I will end this. But if you find yourself in Northern Virginia this summer, try to make time for a fabulous outdoor drama!

Is Ralph Nader a Republican?

2008-02-25T19:40:00.000-05:00

Or is he just insane? I just don't get it. At one time, he may have had some valid points, but the democratic party has two of the strongest and exciting candidates that they have had in a long time, so what is the purpose of Nader? His only purpose, it seems to me, is to smear and attack the other candidates. I don't think that he will siphon off votes from the Dems to himself as he did in the 2000 election, but he may help a few of those undecided votes go to the Republicans... just because the democrats have a crazy speaking up like Ralph. I am sure that I am worrying unnecessarily, but I don't think that I can stand it again.

Maybe Ralph is getting a paycheck from the RNC. I don't really think that, but I also can't figure it out.

via ROTUS

Piece by piece

2008-02-24T07:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, my last post was all about giving up the wants, but let me just say, I Want a New Van. My mini van is falling apart. Piece, by piece, I am totaling the thing. Of course, this would be the one thing that we have that is actually paid off. At the end of last summer, the air conditioning went kaput! Now, I don't live in Texas or anything, but Virginia can get pretty hot, and I can assure you that there were many days that the road rage almost got the better of me, just because I was extremely hot. Since then, the weather changed, and all is well... or not. I started noticing a creaking sound every time we hit a bump, and sometimes just when we were making a turn. A sound that made me think that the underside of the vehicle was going to fall onto the road. Last week I was making my way over some railroad tracks and heard the sound of breaking and dropping of ice... except that there was no ice. Hmmm. I parked the car and went back to the tracks. Sure enough, there was some long piece of metal sitting there waiting for me. I stuck it inside the van and it is still sitting there. Who knows what vital piece it was protecting, but for now it sits in the passenger seat. Then we did get ice, and it cracked my windshield. Oh crap! No worries, the insurance paid for the windshield replacement. All of these things just come with the age of the car I suppose... and then the other day while I was bringing my very late children to school because they had missed the bus, I decided to help with the vans demise.

We were pulling up to the light in front of the school. The car in front of me had a green light, I expected her to go, but she was making a left turn into the school, and decided that she didn't have enough time. I stood up on the brake (another thing that I should probably get checked) and then unceremoniously bumped into her car. SHIT! shit shit shit shit! My kids were dumbfounded. I got out to assess the situation. She was doing the same. We were both looking at her car. Barely a scuff. "It's ok." She said with a heavy accent. "Are you sure? Do you want any information?" I offered. "No, it's ok. It's ok." "I'm really sorry." I tried, but she was already back in her car.

Of course, I was following her, because she was also dropping her kids at school. I sat through the car pool line slumped in my car, feeling like an idiot. Now my children were laughing. I giggled with them because, well, what else was I supposed to do? I drove the two minutes it takes to get home and checked the van. Shit! There is a crack now in the front bumper. Piece, by piece, it falls apart. I wonder if subconsciously I am killing the thing so that we are forced to get a new one before the summer heat hits.

I am thankful, that I have something (no matter how decrepit) to drive to the places I need to go. (Ok, this one I'm not feeling, but I'm trying.)

Giving up The Wants

2008-02-21T09:58:00.000-05:00

A couple of years ago, I had fallen into a serious case of "the wants". We want all the time. People in general are always in a perpetual circle of want. I want to be thinner, I want a better car, I want a bigger house, I want to take a nap, I want my kids to behave. Growing up in the midwest, then moving the East Coast seemed to trigger the uncontrollable wanting. The cost of living on the East coast is quite magnified, and my wants got the better of me. It was not a good place to be, and as I became aware of the obsessive desires, I started to question myself. Questions almost always lead to a journey. The last year and a half, I have been consciously giving up "the wants". It's a slow process, but I know that I am in a better place now than I was two years ago. Basically, I'm happier. Has my situation changed? Not much. But I am once again learning how to live in the now. Being thankful for the present, not longing for the past, or worrying about the future.

I realize that this post could be boring you to tears, and feel free to skip it, but I felt the need to log somehow, a growth that has been happening.

Along this journey, things seem to have presented themselves to me at just the right time. I read "The Secret", which led to an awareness of what frequency my thoughts are on, then a friend introduced me to the flylady . Flylady is a system than helps you control the clutter in your life and your house and organize a daily routine, but a major part of her message is to Love Yourself. And now I have started reading "A New Earth", along with the Oprah book club. These were just a few of the tools that came along the way, but the journey had started before. Does this mean that I have become somehow enlightened? I don't think so. I have become aware; however, of the voice in my head. And by becoming aware of the voice, I have often been able to change what it is saying. Keeping the constant monologue in your head on a positive note is not always easy, but it is worth the effort. I am now able to let go of my perfectionism, and forgive myself when things aren't just so. Laughing is easier, worrying seems useless.

I am far from the end of this journey, but I am enjoying the ride. I still have wants, but they no longer cause me pain. And being grateful for what I have is no longer something that I just say, it's what I actually feel.

Romantic Antics

2008-02-19T08:47:00.000-05:00

So a few weeks ago, I was invited to a "slumber party". No, we did not come with our pj's and sleeping bags, rather I went into a perfect strangers house and was presented an array of intimate creams, lotions, and toys. I have to tell you that it was an absolute riot and a load of fun to boot. I only knew two of the women there, which was a good thing.

The first half of the party, we oohed, and aahed over massage candles and pheromone perfumes. There were a few of the more risque products such as "like a virgin", and "nympho niagra". There was also a shaving lotion, and after shave spray for the bikini area. This was supposed to be great for keeping the skin from getting all read and bumpy, and the woman selling it said that her husband even used it for his face. Now I was interested in this, and almost bought it, except that written proudly over the bottle is the unfortunate name "Coochy". Now how am I supposed to explain to my children why Mom has a bottle of Coochy sitting on the rim of the tub?

The second part of the party was dedicated to the more, dare I say it, hard core toys. We passed around the various vibrators in a rainbow of colors and shapes, and giggled like little girls.

I decided on a few of the tamer products, that is to say, nothing with batteries. I bought a body massage candle. As the chocolate scented wax melts, it can be used as a massage oil. I also bought something called x-scream. This was as wild as I got. Now this cream is supposed to be applied to your nether regions, giving you a "tingling sensation and increase arousal."

Last week, as we all know, was Valentine's Day. A holiday that is fraught with the stress of expectations and disappointments. What better time to try out the new products? As you may recall, I was already working hard to talk myself into "the mood". But hey, I'll be a good sport.

I carefully applied the cream... okay, not too bad... feels a little like a sports cream... okay, now it's starting to burn a little... is it supposed to feel like this? I'm sure everything is fine. Now not to go into any great detail, but when the pants come off, and the air hits the hoo ha, I thought that I might die.

Now what was supposed to be a lovely and romantic evening with my most beloved, turns into a race. "Oh please, just hurry so I can go get this stuff off." We giggled through the whole ordeal.

A few days later, we decide to try out the candle. Surely we won't screw up this one.

I light the candle, blow out the match, and hand it to Ken who is closer to a waste basket. He fumbles with it shortly, just enough to flick a hot ember onto my bum and burn a miniscule hole in the sheets. "OW!" Oh Lawd!

Well, now I'm definitely tense, and in need of a good shoulder massage. The scent of the candle did get me in the mood... in the mood for a pound of chocolate. I could hardly concentrate on anything besides the chocolate cake that I knew was waiting for me in the kitchen.

There are those of us who are beautiful and elegant, lithe and graceful, and then there are those of us who are just fun to watch. Instead of the romantic scenes of Rhett and Scarlett, we tend towards Ricky and Lucy.

Luckily, my husbands into that sort of thing :).

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T15:41:00.000-05:00

Today I got out of the house! I downed some quick breakfast, some pain killers, and was on my way. My destination? The very unromantic convention center where somewhere around a million preschool teachers gathered to become better preschool teachers. The first class, I will say was surprisingly enlightening. After, I had a very dignified ladies lunch with some colleagues. Next, another class. Oy, it was so full that people were sitting in the hallway trying to listen to what this woman had to say. Ok, that wasn't going to work, so I decided to forego the afternoon class, and head home early. As the flu bug seems to still have a stronghold on the body, I was exhausted. Now I will rest, feed myself chocolate, and hope to somehow feel romantic by the time my Valentine comes home.

I VOTED!

2008-02-12T10:43:00.001-05:00

I just got back from voting, and I'm feeling all hopeful! When I got back home, I found this from a friend. I thought it was a hoot, thought I would share.

G'Obama

2008-02-11T15:44:00.000-05:00

Alright, vote for who you want to vote for, but this is the man for me. www.greeblemonkey.com has a great top ten reasons to vote for Obama, check it out. But that isn't really what I wanted to talk about.

My father and I see eye to eye on practically nothing, from they way we believe in our religion to our politics. It may surprise some, therefore, to find out that we are actually very close. We talk nearly everyday, and often have heated exchanges over our differences, but there is never a loss of respect, and certainly no love lost. Well today our disagreement was over strategy. He lives in the very important state of Ohio. Therefore, he has decided to swing his big republican butt over to the democrats so that he can vote in the democratic primary for Hillary Clinton. Now this is a man that cannot stand Hillary Clinton, but is convinced that Obama will beat McCain, so this is how he has decided to make his vote "count". I told him that I thought that was cheating, he says that it is good strategy. So what do you think? Is it cowardly to vote for somone that you think would be easier to beat? Or is it just good sense?

UPDATE: I just stumbled onto a bunch of sites telling Republicans to do just this, saying that "a vote for Hillary is a vote for McCain". Am I the only one who finds this to be slimy?

Suki's Favorite Place

2008-02-09T21:25:00.000-05:00

The Fever Breaks

2008-02-09T09:40:00.000-05:00

After my last post, my sore throat and headache quickly turned into something much nastier. The body started to ache and a fever ensued. I downed the painkillers and fever reducers regularly, but the pain was never really gone. I was seriously laid out. It hurt to move. This morning, although the throat is not better, the fever seems to have relented. I will continue to down tea by the gallon. While being down for the count, the house has fallen apart, and not one piece of laundry has moved from the place where I left it before being hit. I'm not bothered by this, in fact I'm comforted. While I've been down, my husband canceled plans to stay home and help take care of me and the children. He has run out to get medicine, out to get food, out to get the kids out of the house. He has held me, and rubbed my sore legs, and not once has he made me feel guilty that the bed is not made, that the sink is covered in dishes, that the laundry sits unfolded in it's basket. I am certainly NOT the only one who does house work in this family. But I find it to be a bit of a comfort to find that when I am incapacitated, it's noticeable.

Cup o' Tea

2008-02-07T17:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the temperature got up to 74 degrees. It was like a beautiful spring day here in early February. I took the opportunity to open all the windows in the house in the hopes of blowing out the germs that seem to have descended this Winter. Wouldn't you know it, today I woke up with yet another sore throat. My head is pounding and all I want to do is sleep. The temperature has dropped, but still in the 50's, this weekend they are calling for snow. Thank the lord, I have the day off. All I can bring myself to do is sip tea.

The Difference in My Children

2008-02-07T11:39:00.000-05:00

"Sam, it's time to get up. Breakfast is on the table."

Groggily he answers, "OK".

"Emma, it's time to get up. Breakfast is on the table."

Without hesitation, "No."

"Emma, your breakfast is ready, let's go."

"No, I'm too tired."

"Emma, you need to get ready for school."

Wide awake now, "I said I'm too tired!"

Oh, the glimpses into the teen years are frightening. (shiver)

The Great Awakening

2008-02-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

Last Tuesday evening we went with another couple to see Jim Wallis, author of "The Great Awakening" speak about his new book at Georgetown University. His book describes a hopeful new America where the Christian Right is dead (at least their political voice is), and where spirituality is on the rise. It inspires us to have faith, which leads to action, which leads to change. He is doing his best to be a part of a new movement, reclaiming religion from the fundamentalists, reclaiming the voice of the religious left. It was wonderful, I will admit, to be in a roomful of people and hear someone speak like this. It was sort of a relief. I'm tired of feeling like no one is speaking on my behalf. You have the religious right, which I've always felt is neither "religious", nor "right", and then you have Bill Maher and the like, whom often miss the point. While I have a much easier time listening to Bill, he is so against religion that he immediately dismisses anyone who claims to be a christian as an idiot. I understand his skepticism, I do. There was a time that I completely turned my back on religion. I felt that calling myself a christian aligned myself politically with people I cannot see eye to eye with. It wasn't until my son wanted to go to church that we were lucky enough to find the wonderful church that we are a part of now. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who belong to this church who are also on the far right, but it is balanced with those of us on the left, and we seem to have open discussions (everything being relative).

But I digress. As I was listening to Jim Wallis talk, I started to find myself thinking, wouldn't this be great if it were true? But surely it can't be. And then I wondered how in the world I had become so jaded. I had always been an idealist, sure that with good reasoning and good intentions, a person could truly move mountains. Just as I was mourning the loss of my idealism, Mr. Wallis starts to talk about the skeptics. "These people want the good things, but they are afraid to be hopeful, so it becomes a buffer, and will lead to inaction." Of course, I'm paraphrasing, I wouldn't want to misquote, but that was the gist. He was speaking to me. It had become sometimes painful to hope for the good to win out in these last eight years. My first political depression happened after the country re-elected George W. and he was given his "mandate", and while I thought that I was over it, I realize that it has left me a different person. I now have trouble having faith in the "good" always winning. It seems more and more that it matters what people say, but not what they do. Spin, spin, spin.

I haven't read "The Great Awakening" yet. But I did go to www.sojo.net and joined the mailing list. If a movement is on the rise, then I want to be a part. I refuse to let my skepticism give in to inaction. Maybe this is the bottom that we have to hit before we demand change. I stand firm... with my fingers crossed.

Sugar, The other White Powder

2008-02-04T20:56:00.000-05:00

I had a seriously bad eating day today. I mean it's almost pathological. I can't even tell you what is going on in my head when this happens. After a long night of grinding my teeth (a new and disturbing habit) my jaws ached. Apparantly all of this late night chewing in my sleep is making my stomach wake with anticipation. I woke craving sweets. I quickly hopped on the scale and found that I had finally lost a whole pound. Woo hoo. "Lets just keep this up," I thought to myself. I really wanted to break into the oreos (why are those evil things even in my house?) but instead I had a rice cake and a banana. After getting the kids off to school, I started my workout. An hour and a half yoga routine. I wasn't even half way through when I started thinking about the oreos. What the hell? I have never in my life had trouble with cravings during an actual workout. There was a section in the tape when they say, go ahead and take a quick break, and grab some water... I headed straight for the oreos. It was like a sickness. I think that if someone would have tried to take the oreos out of my hand at that point, I would have bitten their fingers off. I told myself that it was just a slight misstep, and not to punish myself too harshly. Keep a positive attitude.

I went off to teach. My first day teaching Art. I've been a little nervous about this. It's what I attribute my night grinding to. I know it's ridiculous to fret so about teaching Art to 5 year olds, but I was. In between classes, I downed two mini hershey bars. They were just little things, I told myself. Get a grip.

I came home, had a couple pieces of salami and some celery and peanut butter. The kids came home from school. After worrying all day about Emma, I find out that she had an absolutely fabulous day, so Sam, Emma and I sat down and celebrated with... you guessed it... oreos and milk. I don't think that I even enjoyed them all that much, but still I ate them.

Got Emma to soccer. I knew the kids needed to get home, washed and to bed early, but they needed to eat. This is what I told myself as I pulled into McDonalds and ordered each one of us a meal that centered on chicken mcnuggets. We have healthy food in the house. I could have whipped something up, but none of that sounded good. I really wanted some crap. For some reason, that really sounded delicious. I'm telling you, it's pathalogical.

Now that I am sitting here, disgusted with the full feeling of eating junk, I'm considering doing a quick cardio workout before bed. Will that ease the guilt? Or will it just make me tired and feel like eating more?

Maybe it was my bloodsugar being out of whack. Maybe it was stress eating. Either way, it felt out of my control, which I find to be disturbing. Sugar really is the other white powder. It is my cocaine. I need a good rehab clinic.

Bicycle Blues

2008-02-04T20:20:00.000-05:00

My youngest is just coming in from learning to ride her bike without the training wheels. She had quite the audience as all the neighborhood came out to cheer her on. She rose to the occasion and had only one minor crash in which no skin was broken. She may be a little bruised however. My son heard this and asked where will she be bruised. Ken very diplomatically said that her bum would be a little sore. Emma quickly shot back "NO!" and the whispered "my privates." But to her credit, she got back on so that she ended on a happy note.

I am utterly proud of her, and as with the recent loss of her tooth I am again faced with her quickly fading childhood. I'm not feeling sad. The day is too beautiful and the company too terrific. I'm just realizing that her lists of firsts are getting shorter. Soon the firsts will consist of things done without me around. Her first date, first kiss, first break up. I'm not really looking forward to any of those. Certainly not like I did with her first steps, first words, first day with no diapers.

It's all very fleeting. I will just be happy to spend our time together. And hopefully be there for her with other firsts, even if it is only to help pick up the pieces.

Kitty Kwirks

2008-02-04T20:10:00.000-05:00

I love my kitties. They make me giggle on a consistant basis. They attack imaginary objects, they attack each other, they attack your feet from under the bed as you try to straighten the sheets. Of course, they also snuggle and rub, and are just full of your regular kitty cuteness. But each of my cats has a special little quirk.

Suki loves running water. You cannot enter the bathroom without her leaping to the sink to wait for the promised stream of delight. If you're in there long enough, she'll curl up in the sink and look at you while you do your business as if to say "ya done yet?" My husband even went out and bought one of those drinking bowls that keeps the water running in a continuous stream. He could hardly bring him self to spend that much on a water bowl until the sales person at the PetSmart told him that his cat kept getting urinary tract infections because she would only drink from the sink. I don't know if that story is true, but he made a sale that day. Suki does seem to love to get her water from the constant stream that now keeps our kitchen sounding very Feng Shui, but she still obsesses about the bathroom.

Miko, on the other hand, is obssesed with the litter box. No matter where she is in the house, as soon as she hears the sound of the sand being stirred, she comes running. She can't wait until I am done cleaning it so that she can climb in a mess it all up again. Literally, she can't wait, because there are times that I just have to stop and stand back because she's climbed in and will chase the scoop if I try to continue with my chore. Of course, this is a source of great entertainment for my children. They can barely catch their breath as they watch this ridiculous dance. I, of course, feed into this by making a big deal of trying to scoop around her, or simply by making fun while I wait for her to finish her business. Over the weekend, I was away, and my husband had to clean the litter box. My daughter actually had to call my son over to watch. "Look, look, Dad's cleaning the kitty litter". I forgot to ask whether Miko made an appearance, perhaps with all of the commotion, she decided to stay away.

It seems that since kids and pets, nothing is private anymore. We seem to always know who's going, where they're going and how things came out. Me, personally, I'm fine with this. I'm all for open communication in a famuiy, but I wonder sometimes if we've gone too far. Have we unwittingly caused our kitty's quirks and obsessions with the bathroom areas because on some sub-conscious level, we too are obsessed?       Nah. After all, who can resist a little potty humor.

Where's The Brain?

2008-02-04T19:50:00.000-05:00

This time, I'm actually not talking about my own brain, though I often wonder where it is hiding, or vacationing. The brain I am currently concerned with, however, is my son Sam's. Now first let me tell you that Sam is a very bright child of eight who does extremely well in school. He likes to read book after book, and when he isn't reading books, he likes to write them. His imagination is more than impressive, but I think he got short changed when it comes to anything dealing with reality. Apart from seriously existential questions, like: What is reality anyway, we all have our own reality, blah, blah, blah... I am talking about just run of the mill things like, "if I need my back pack, I'm going to have to go up into my room and get it, because (as much as I want it to), it's not going to magically appear next to me when I'm headed out the door." These are the things that seem to escape my son.

The other day, I asked Sam to go to the basement to let the dog in, then come back to his room and pick up his clothes. Now keep in mind, that I made sure that Sam was looking me in the eye when I spoke to him, and I made these steps as concise as I knew how and then asked if he understood. This boy looked me dead in the face and said "O.K.", and headed down the stairs. Now I went back to putting my own laundry away feeling good about the conversation and pleased with my parenting skills. After all, there was no whining or complaining about the task that I had given, and I was sure that the instructions were about to be carried out. I'm not sure how much time passed, but I realized that Sam was not coming back up the stairs to clean up his room. I thought to myself, ahh, he must have been distracted after letting the dog in, I'll give him a little reminder.

"Sam, are you coming back up?"

"Okay"

Now I hear the dog bark outside.

"Sam, did you let the dog in?"

"Oh, Okay."

Now I can hear him actually letting the dog back in, and then miraculously heading up the stairs to his room. I meet him at the top.

"Sam, what were you doing down there before?"

"I was singing."

Well, of course he was. I have no idea what happened in that span of time. Did he not have the information from the start? Did he just think that I meant at some point in the day it might be a good idea to do the things that I was asking, or did he actually hear me, and then promptly forget. I'm not sure. And I seem to be asking these questions a lot lately.

Even in Soccer practice. The other kids are kicking the ball and passing it to their teammates. Sam is kicking and passing as well, but that's not all he's doing. His arms fly over his head as he makes sound effects for the ball when it comes into contact with his foot. There seems to be a pretend battle that he is fighting and there are aliens somehow involved. The other kids just shake their heads. They don't get it. I'm sad to say that I am sitting in my car watching and doing the same thing, shaking my head. I don't get it. Am I squelching his artistic nature to ask that he comes out of the clouds every so often to be a part of the life that is actually happening around him, and leave the pretend life in his head at least every once in a while?
There are times that I feel certain that if I knocked around his little head like a melon, I could find the hollow place where part of the brain was missing. Maybe it fell out in the shower. That would at least explain why after standing in the tub for over twenty minutes, Sam came out with his hair completely dry.

Teeth and Time

2008-02-04T19:46:00.001-05:00

I know that every parent goes through this; but it is still a huge lesson in the passing of time when your kid (especially your youngest), looses one of their front teeth. My daughter lost hers last night, and in less than a second, her face changed from the baby's that I knew, to a much older kids, filled with big gaps, ready for big teeth to fill it. There is nothing gradual about this change which is why it hits me so hard. The face she had yesterday is gone forever. Suddenly she's having trouble pronouncing words with S as her tongue slips through the new space. I know that straw tricks are to come. Hopefully the others stay in her mouth at least long enough to get through corn on the cob season.

2008-02-04T19:46:00.000-05:00

Bath and Body

2008-02-04T18:50:00.002-05:00

I love Bath and Body Works. Why is it that when I'm out of soap, rather than going to the grocery store a block away to grab a standard bar and become Zestfully Clean, I will instead drive to the other side of the city to the Bath and Body Works to spend three times as much for my special scented shower gel? Partly it's just the decor and aroma of the place. Walking around looking at all of the pretty bottles in their pretty displays. It puts me in mind of soaking in a sundrenched bathtub filled with steam and bubbles. Not a care in the world besides my feet becoming soft and uncalloused, and my pores opening and cleansing, my sinuses filling with nothing but the warm scent of relaxation. I walk around the bottles, picking them up wondering which ones will best take me to the blissful place of my dreams. I pick just the right one and take it to the counter. Now a glimpse of reality creeps in. The check out girl tells me how much I owe. Suddenly I realize that I really don't make enough money to be spending it on silly little things like soap, and I don't have a sundrenched bathroom, or a tub that I even like to lay in, but the breif moment of stress reminds me that this is why I need this special soap. To take these cares away. I buy my bottle with a smile. The check out girl never knows of my little panick attack. She only knows that I'll be back when this bottle runs out.

2008-02-04T18:50:00.001-05:00

Getting to Know You

2008-02-04T18:47:00.000-05:00

I have been posting in a Journal for some time now, and have decided to go a little more public. The next few posts will be from that journal so that we can get to know each other a little better, and so I have a couple of posts right out of the box.

Enjoy!